The Blackbird Sings to the Shattered Heart
by magrat70
Summary: Spoilers up to 200. Would JJ get over her ordeal so easily? And what if Emily stayed. Warnings will explore dark issues, Femslash, if you don't like don't read. JJ/ E Prentiss
1. Prologue

The Blackbird Sings to the Shattered Soul

Author; Magrat 70

Disclaimer: They don't belong to me; I would have treated them much better.

Rating: T to M

Outline: Spoiler up to 200. Would JJ really recover so easily and what if Emily stays? Expect dark themes and pairing JJ/ E Prentiss. Thank you to my beta Flashpenguin who has taken a piece of coal and shined into a diamond; thank you again my friend

Prologue

At first she thought it was more hallucinations, but she trembled at the familiar voice and face; her voice, her face. She frees you from the chains that bind, her conscience taunts her. You can hear your voice tell her that you knew they would call her that she would come.

She pulls herself together, tells the team that she's OK and it is Matt that's hurt. Then she's away like the wind, he has to be stopped. Before she can give it another thought, she running as fast as her feet will let her, down the same path as the man she needs to take off the streets. That is her only thought, her only purpose. Nothing else matters. She barely registered the footsteps behind her; she is so intent on her prey.

The fight it is swift and brutal and suddenly she is flying through the air, high above the D.C skyline and all she can think is: You were not supposed to die this way! She is falling fast with nothing but the concrete and asphalt below to break her fall. Her mind barely registers what her heart knows is inevitable: She is going to die. Closing her eyes, she tries to think of a prayer, but nothing comes.

Suddenly, hands grab her wrists – familiar hands that she knew better than anyone has any idea. She's been saved! Her saviour pulls her up to the roof and sets her on her feet.

She has saved your life, but will she save your soul?

She feels broken into a million pieces and just for that moment she shivers helplessly in her hero's strong arms. It is quiet and peaceful, but it is only for a moment, then there is noise, light, movement and most of all her body and mind finally registers the pain that can no longer be kept at bay and she sobs uncontrollably into her saviour's regal neck.

Strength leaves her body almost as fast as when she was falling. Limp, she collapses. She doesn't care if she's caught; she's safe, and that's what matters most. She barely hears the other voices calling her name and for help – all she hears is the soft, husky tone telling her to stay calm and not worry.

Darkness is claiming her. She doesn't want to leave, but she's so tired. Holding on to the hand that saved her, she gives in to the sweet oblivion beaconing her with promises of peace.

TBC


	2. Chapter 1

The Blackbird Sings to the Shattered Soul part 1

Disclaimer; not mine, I would have treated them better

Ratings T

Authors note; this where the story goes AU, dont believe JJ could get over her what happened so easily

Thanks to Trainecker fir beta

_You better hope and pray that you make it safe back to your own world Stay Shakespeare's Sister_

JJ holds her hands over her ears because everything is overwhelming, still leaning into Emily like she is her anchor to this earth.

"Make them go away Em, I can't breathe," she feels like the water is being poured down her throat and she started to scramble desperately at her neck, Emily holds on with difficulty as the smaller woman thrashed around.

"Hotch can you get these guys to move out for second."

Her old boss looked at the scene in concern but he trusts Prentiss to know what she was doing. He gestured to the team and SWAT to retreat back and give the two women some space.

Emily grabbed the blonde's hands in a desperate attempt to stop her hurting herself anymore. "JJ, Jennifer, come back to me honey," she crooned softly into the blonde's trying to snap her back into reality."

"Emily, you came back, y...you saved me," whispered JJ, her movements starting to still. She pushed herself against the brunette, desperate for her touch. "I missed you so much but I knew they'd call you and you'd come back for me." Tears fell softly from blue eyes.

"Shush now. I've got you. Are you hurt, do you need to see the medics,"

"I'm OK," the blonde started to panic again. "Matt, he..."

"They have probably already taken him to hospital. It is you I am concerned for."

"Please Em, I just want to go back to the Quantico, shower and get out of these clothes," and burn them she thought as she shuddered, remembering Hastings pulling at her belt.

"Can you walk?"

"I got up here by myself. I can back down by myself," snapped JJ, regretting the words the moment they left her mouth. "Oh, god Em. I am so sorry... I,"

"Don't worry all we are concerned about is you," cut off Emily, helping the blonde back to her feet.

xxxxxxxxxx

JJ stared out the SUV's window as they travelled back. She knew her friends' would have a lot of questions, some official more she suspected unofficial. She didn't want to do it all she wanted was to be in Emily's warm embrace. Her mind started to race, God, how could she think that way; she was a bad mother. "Henry..."

"Don't worry he's at my house with Jack," said Hotch. "I hope you don't mind, I thought it was best, Will was out of his mind with worry, so I called Beth to take him before Henry started to panic."

"Oh, Will," was all the blonde said, before she went back to her vigil at the window.

Hotch and Emily exchanged worried looks in the rear view mirror

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

JJ had stood under the shower back at Quantico, she had made the water as hot as possible. God it hurt so much but at least she knew she was alive. After, she changed into some FBI sweats and sat on the bench in the locker room. She didn't want to face the music, she just wanted to sit in the quiet, and her mind was far from processing the events of the night. In the end Emily had come in to fetch her, she looked so worried that JJ had felt guilty. They had hugged, both of them exhausted.

Emily's heart thought it would break when she saw the empty look in those beautiful blue eyes that she spent too much of her time thinking about. The flight had been terrifying, never knowing if she would see this woman again that she would gladly give up her life for. "We need to move there are a lot of people waiting to see you."

"I don't want..."

"I know sweetie, but it has to be done. They all love you, please remember that."

They had travelled quietly up to BAU offices at the last moment JJ had panicked, and Emily had reached out to hold her hand as the door opened.

"JJ," squealed Garcia rushing to hug her friend but a dangerous voice had stopped her in her tracks.

"What have you been doing with that dyke all this time? Did you give her a special welcome back; she 'help' you in the shower?"

JJ closed her eyes, she knew her husband would react this way; he was only repeating things she had heard a million times before, not even being tortured had given her a pass.

"Answer me woman."

"Hey man," said Morgan, placing a warning hand on the man's shoulder.

"Fuck off," screamed Will and Morgan took a step back, shocked by the look of pure hate in the other man's eyes.

"Not now, Will," said JJ quietly.

"I thought I finally had my wife back when the bitch died, but that was just another lie."

"She saved my life,"

Will gave a sarcastic laugh. "Yeah, she gets to play hero, while I am stuck at home playing Nanny McPhee." Before anyone could stop him he ran at the two women. His punch caught Emily on the cheek spinning her round before she hit the ground. Taking advantage of the shock in the room he rained kicks at Emily's head and body.

Morgan, the first to react twisted Will's arms behind his back and bodily lifted him away from the defenseless brunette.

"Aarrggh you're breaking my arms," screamed Will.

"Just be glad I haven't killed you."

JJ dropped to her knees "Em talk to me, please. Em open your eyes, " no one could miss the hysteria in her voice.

The brunette started to cough, leaving a fine spray of blood on JJ's arm.

Hotch already had his phone in his hand. "Medic needed, officer down."

TBC


	3. The Hero

The Blackbird sings to the Shattered Soul

Magrat 70

Rating; hard T maybe M for language and sexual suggestion

Thank you to Traineker for beta'ing

Author's note; the idea came because really I couldn't see how JJ could get over being tortured, threatened with rape, killing someone and all most die by falling off the roof and be so unaffected by it especially because it would bring back losing her baby, that only Emily and Matt knew about, plus I hate the marriage proposal that was more blackmail than anything else.

AN2; this is where it goes AU where JJ explains her and Emily's relationship, scenes not shown, obviously, but part of the show.

The Hero

The injuries sustained by Emily weren't as bad as originally thought; she had a crack on her cheekbone, badly bruised ribs and as usual a serve concussion. Everybody was sure that she had an internal injury when she coughed blood, it turned she had bit the side of her tongue. She was pissed at first when she was told she couldn't fly across the Atlantic, with her injuries, but apart of her was pleased to be able to spend some time with JJ.

JJ herself was persuaded to be seen while they were waiting to see how Emily was; her electrical burns were treated and covered. She was in the middle of being berated for not coming in quicker, when Hotch had stormed in and explained that she had been tortured. The room had grown quiet and Garcia followed in and helped JJ to dress.

"JJ, what do you want us to do about Will, he is being held for assaulting an Interpol officer..." Hotch was unsure how to broach the whole subject, it would seem that the two women's relationship was much more than anyone, even Garcia knew about. Garcia slipped out of the room to give JJ and Hotch some privacy while the nurse went to get dressings and cream that JJ would need on her electrical burns when she was released.

"It's nothing to do with me, ask Emily, she was the one who took a beating." JJ's voice was flat, devoid of any emotion. She was waiting for Emily to be released, she needed to talk to her, feel her strong arms around her, and get away from the constant grind of Will's criticism. She should leave her job, she wasn't a good mother or wife and if he ever caught her talking or skyping with Emily she had feared a couple of times he would hurt her. If he knew the extent of their relationship he would have probably killed her.

"He's your husband JJ..."

"Really Hotch, did he act like a caring, loving husband, whose wife had been tortured? Or did he act like a jealous, possessive bastard who sees his wife as a belonging? What happened to me has made me see I can't live a lie anymore, for the sake of Henry or my parents. I could be dead tomorrow I want no regrets and at the moment I have one, I let her go."

"You and Emily were..."

"Yes we were lovers, we kept it a secret because of our jobs... I couldn't take it. I left her, got pregnant and then Will kept announcing things and it got crazy. It was bad enough in New York. God, you were hurt and... and I broke her heart. He could see all the hurt going on around us and he kept saying that we were bringing good news." JJ felt like a dam had been broken and she wanted to get it all out there.

"When did it start?" Hotch asked, he was feeling a fool. He believed he always knew what was going on with his agents and his pride was hurting more than anything else.

"After the dogs at Henkel's farm. I almost shot her and with Reid being taken, I was all over the place, even when Elle was hurt, nothing felt that bad. When I got home I...I was having nightmares, I called her in the middle of the night and she stayed on the phone with me all night," JJ gave a small smile at the memory. "The next night Em, turned up at my door before bed time. She didn't say a lot... she kissed me." The memory was burnt into JJ's brain. The kiss started off slow and gentle and ended with clothes being ripped off bodies.

Hotch wasn't sure where this was leading, there was definite information that he really didn't want to know, at the same time he wanted to help JJ get through what he knew was going to be a tough time ahead. He wondered if either Will or Emily were going to be around to help. If he was a gambling man his money would be on the Interpol officer.

"I had another nightmare and..." JJ stopped, what could she say to her boss? She had the most mind blowing sex of her young life? The older woman had made her feel, loved, desired, the centre of the whole fucking universe. "Emily, she... I... she made me feel good about myself."

He was glad she stopped there, hearing Prentiss's sexual prowess was not something he expected to know about tonight. "That's good... Emily was there for you."

"She was, she was always there for me, holding me together when...cases were tough. When Gideon left, Reid's drug problem, when Pen was shot and I had to shoot Battle, but she never let me in. Those damn Prentiss' compartments, she never told me about Strauss and I was hurt, you know, when she resigned. Then she got hit on the head, again! Jeez, how many times has that woman got to get concussed before some common, bloody, sense gets knocked into her?"

Hotch gave a little cough, to stop himself from sniggering at what was a damn accurate assessment of Emily Elizabeth Prentiss. "Is that why you got involved with Will."

JJ looked ashamed. "She was pushing me at him, saying I deserved a normal life, that she had too many things in her past. Obviously no one knew about Doyle and the whole Lauren fiasco, that she was still protecting Declan. That is the thing about Em, sir, she is so good at taking care of the people she loves, she doesn't let anyone in to love and protect her. Her parents have done a real number on her, she expects to be hurt. She told me she wasn't worthy of my love." JJ gave a sardonic laugh. "Me! Me who was sneaking behind her back, getting involved with someone who wasn't even good enough to lick her boots. Me that got pregnant with the idiot's kid. The only good thing to come out of that was Henry."

JJ was lost in thought for a moment. "We stopped seeing one another after New York, it was too much, even for her. Then Colorado... I don't know how many times I listened to that recording of her being beaten... she drives me insane. Always the fucking hero...yet she never sees it, she has an oasis of compassion and always puts others before her own wellbeing. I love her so fucking much! She has no idea what she is, how special. She only sees herself as damaged goods, thanks to her lovely parents and Interpol, yet she keeps going back to both. She didn't want to come back to me but I begged her, she felt guilty about us being together when I was with Will. I couldn't bear the thought of her being killed and not being with her. Will never made me feel the way she did... I...sometimes I couldn't keep my hands off her, I think the danger of being caught made it even better."

"JJ, you're recollections are all over the place..."

"NO! I have a perfect recollection of everything... you want me to go through the cases? The home invasions where Emily wanted to take Carrie home, on the way home I told her I could see her with kids, we went back to her condo and we made love all night. After... after Haley died and we went to Nashville, there was the guy who was killing women that Emily fitted the victimology, successful brunettes. She had him pinned to floor and had her gun pushed right against his skull... she really wanted to kill him. She was like an animal after; I was covered in bruises and scratches. I had a hard job explaining that one away. God she was so good."

"We were together when I was at the State Department, it was harder to find ways to be together but we did and then Doyle... I was all over the place when you said she had gone missing. Her compartments are so good, I had no idea about any of it. When we had to tell people she was dead, Will laughed, and he wouldn't go to her funeral. He knew I was in love with her, he had no idea we were together, he trusted Emily to be too chivalrous to sleep with me while I was with someone else. I was told I would be her handler, I flew to Paris with her, she was still ill... we knew for everyone's safety that we wouldn't be seeing much of each other. We had time in Paris. I missed her, like I lost a limb, even though we weren't supposed to, we played online scrabble to keep in touch."

"When Emily came back from the dead Will went mad... he put so much pressure on me to me to leave, he 'accidentally' forgot to give Henry his medication and he had that fit while we were on a case. He told me it was all my fault and even worse things could happen to Henry. I was terrified and I pulled away from Emily when she needed me the most. She was the hero again when she saved Will's life, he never thanked her in fact I think it made it worse for him. I didn't want to marry him, I was scared he would hurt Henry.."

"JJ if you had said something, we would have been there for you, we love you..."

"I know, I know but I had got so used to keeping secrets and she left because of me. I let her down and hurt her just like her parents and everyone else in her life... yet here she is again the hero to the rescue. Hotch I will do anything to be with her this time. Anything."

TBC


End file.
